‘God had a different plan…’

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By Kristi Picklesimer

When my husband and I were dating and beginning to get serious, the topic of marriage and even children started to come up. I was raised around lots of children, I worked in the nursery and vacation bible school. I was a teacher! Of course, I wanted children. During a more serious conversation Pick told me that when he was very young (5-6yrs. old), due to some issues at birth and later surgeries, he had been told by a doctor that he would probably not be able to have children. Then later (18-19) when he was battling kidney stones, the topic came up and the current doctor didn’t seem to think that would be a problem but wasn't sure. I remember just shrugging this off and thinking, “If we are meant to have children, we will, it will be fine.” 

My husband is 10 years older than I am, he had been married previously and he and his wife did not choose to have children. He was not raised around children and was a little more hesitant around them. So, I was a little surprised after we had been married only a year that we started talking about a family. I remember traveling to his mom’s house at the end of the summer and visiting with his brother and sister. They brought out all the old photo albums and talked about summers spent with grandparents, crazy cousin shenanigans, and family trips. It was definitely like the flip of a switch when he decided that was something he wanted to experience with his own children.

We both just thought that since we had decided we wanted a child that it would be no problem! We would start trying and the baby would be due in June (right in line with my summer vacation). God had a different plan! 

After several months and no luck, we decided to see a doctor to make sure there wasn’t a problem. Things looked good.  After a year we saw a specialist, and tried some mild interventions (hormones and IUI). There were lots of scans, poking, prodding. I am not the biggest fan of a doctor’s office. I can remember passing out at least two times. Once, in a waiting room with a handful of people while wearing a hospital gown! 

The next step would be IVF and for some reason we felt like God was telling us that this was not the path for us. So that was where we stopped medically. I have nothing against any other medical paths to have a baby, I just really felt like God said stop.

However, this was about two years in and I was probably close to an emotional wreck.  My “It will be fine” attitude was trying to hang on but, after a couple of years there were some very difficult moments! We were very active in church. I was around children at school every day. I planned many baby showers and was starting to feel desperate for a child. It seemed so unfair. I was becoming angry with God. I would like to think it was all the extra hormones but God needed to work in my heart. Sometime in this period my husband had a dream and God showed him that he would have a son. This gave him a great confidence to keep going but I just wanted a time frame! 

When we stopped going to the specialist, we decided to explore adoption. We filled out paperwork with a few agencies and began the process of becoming licensed to foster. I was still emotional. I wanted to be hopeful. There just always seem to be hoops to jump through. There were such long waiting lists for adopting babies we became even more discouraged. We had pretty much given up when one morning in Sunday school a couple that we were friends with asked for prayer to find a family for an older child whose aunt and uncle had custody but were looking for a family to adopt him. We immediately looked at each other and knew! We talked with them and set up a meeting to talk to the family. We eventually met the child and had visits with him. He officially moved in about 6 months later and we continued the adoption process. He has been ours since that first look. 

About two weeks after he moved in, we confirmed we were pregnant. God truly blessed us with two children in one year! It was almost exactly four years from the date that we decided we wanted to start a family.